Fun facts I learned today:
1) You can buy toilets on Amazon.com. A lot of toilets.
2) Some of those toilets cost over $12,000, but Amazon will save you up to 25%.
3) One of those
$12,000 $9,000 toilets is designed to compliment bathrooms with medieval decor.
4) Some people have bathrooms with medieval decor. Wow.
5) Those people include Tina Turner and Boris Becker.
6) I probably should have put “scare quotes” around “medieval.”
7) People who bought the “medieval” toilet at Amazon also bought several books about spinning yarn and 4.5lbs of Chiquita bananas. I leave you to draw your own conclusions.
Here is said $9,000, or possibly $12,000, medieval toilet: The Dagobert, by Herbeau.
According to some ad copy on the Herbeau website, the Dagobert toilet was “Inspired by Dagobert, the last ruler of the 8th Century French Merovingian dynasty.” According to the same ad copy, the features of this toilet include an ashtray, a candle holder, a hand-painted toilet bowl, an ash finish, and the ability to play the 18th-century nursery rhyme “Le Bon Roi Dagobert” when the lid is lifted.
I wonder in what way it was inspired by “Dagobert, the last ruler of the 8th Century French Merovingian dynasty.” According to Wikipedia, there were 3 Merovingian Dagoberts, two of whom were 7th century rulers, and none of whom were the last of the Merovingian dynasty. That honor belonged to Childeric III, but really, who would want a toilet named Childeric III?
For those interested, here are the lyrics to the rhyme that inspired a $12,000 toilet:
|Le bon roi Dagobert
Avait sa culotte à l’envers.
Le grand Saint-Eloi lui dit
“Ô mon roi, votre majesté
Est mal culottée.”
“C’est vrai,” lui dit le roi.
“Je vais la remettre à l’endroit.”
|Good King Dagobert
Had his pants on backwards.
St. Eloi the great told him,
“O, my king, your majesty
Is poorly dressed.”
“You’re right,” said the king.
“I’ll put them right-side round.”
I definitely need a toilet named after a king whose fashion sense inspired Kris Kross.****
*Dagobert is the name that Scrooge McDuck goes by in Dutch, German, and Hungarian editions.**
**Bonus fun fact: As of this writing, the entry for Scrooge McDuck at Wikipedia is a couple hundred words longer than the entry for that guy what wrote the Iliad.***
***To be fair, Scrooge McDuck’s life is better documented.
****They who will make you jump, jump.