Medieval News

How many ways can you re-title the same AP Wire story and pass it off as journalism? At least fourteen, if my painstaking research is accurate.

Medieval Cross Turns up in Trash — Forbes, et al.
Medieval cross found in trash bin — Taipei Times
Medieval cross found in trash can — CBS News
Medieval cross found in garbage — Montreal Gazette
Medieval cross found in rubbish skip — News.com.au
Medieval cross found in Austrian rubbish skip — Stuff.co.nz
Medieval cross turns up in trash, could be worth $500G — Boston Herald
Medieval cross found in trash could be worth over $500000 — Chicago Tribune
£260,000 medieval cross found in bin by woman hunting crockery — The Independent (UK)
Medieval cross worth thousands of dollars turns up in trash — abc11tv.com
Medieval cross likely worth thousands of dollars turns up in trash — Hays Daily News (KS)
Relic in trash may be worth thousands — Chicago Sun-Times
$500K cross hidden from Nazis, found in trash — Rocky Mountain News
Missing 800-Year-Old Cross Surfaces in Rubbish Heap — ToTheCenter.com
‘Dumpster Diving’ Yields Treasure — Los Angeles Times

Isn’t it weird that stuff.co.nz, the New Zealand branch of Stuff magazine, is the only organization that thought that the location of the cross was headline-worthy?

My favorite headline comes from the Hays Daily News. They’re not comfortable claiming anything about the cross’s value. Folks, we’re not saying it’s definitely worth thousands here. It’s likely worth thousands, sure, but don’t call our office gloating if the thing sells for squat at auction. Hell, it’s allegedly worth thousands. Allegedly worth alleged thousands, if new allegations prove to be alleged for good reason.

The Independent goes the extra mile to let you know that the woman who discovered the cross had a good reason for being there, while the LA Times slanders her with those scare quotes. What exactly do scare quotes mean in a newspaper headline? We’re hip enough to know these words, but lame enough to be uncomfortable using them? More likely, we’re lame enough to think that these words are hip.

An honorable mention clearly belongs to the Rocky Mountain News for their use of the old dependable comma headline. I love a good comma headline. Grad Student Has Blog, Cat. Area Man Posts Headlines, Avoids Thesis. PhD Candidate makes jokes, pancakes.

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