Turn-offs: Magical fidelity-testing horns, magical fidelity-testing robes, magical fidelity-testing girdles, magical fidelity-testing swords stuck in stones–look, “don’t ask, don’t tell” isn’t just for the Flemish military, capiche?
Best or worst lie I’ve ever told: Let’s just say that you won’t be the first beggar to carry me across the stream.
What I’m Looking For in a Man: Someone who will predecease me while I am still young, so that I may enjoy the rather progressive freedoms my time affords to widows but denies to virgins and wives.
The Last Line That Worked On Me: “Hey, baby, you’re so fine that I’ve got to castrate myself so that I won’t damn your soul to an eternity of torment.”
Interesting Fact About Me: I am a large estate with many titles that will transfer upon marriage to my lord’s young daughter.
What I’m looking for: A woman who will produce a male heir, or who will be cool with the pope annulling our marriage when she doesn’t.
Why you should get to know me: I may be bricked up in a church, but… wait, actually, that may be a problem.
Why you should get to know me: Because the plague only scarred me below the knees.
Fill in the blanks: Converting to Christianity is sexy. Forcing my husband to convert so that we may enjoy holy celibacy is sexier.
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