Ok, fine, here you go: some medieval porn. Happy?

As I mentioned before, my recent spate of posts has finally knocked Angelina Jolie from her perch as the top Google search term that brings people here. What has replaced her? “Medieval Porn,” followed closely by “medieval sex.” A distant third is, bizarrely, the word “göt”–with “medieval cheese” and “medieval jokes” rounding out the top five.

So I give up.* This is the best I’ve göt:


Scandalous, I know. It’s an illumination of Lancelot and Guenevere getting ready to you know what from The British Library’s MS Add. 10293, f.312v,** a fourteenth-century manuscript of Le Livre de Lancelot del Lac, the short cyclic version of the romance. It reveals something that I’ve long suspected about the pair. They would have gotten away with it, if not for*** the fact that Joyeuse Guard, his castle, was built out of one gigantic window. Seriously, imagine the heating bills.

As an extra treat, here’s a closeup of the adulterous pair. Without the hat, I’d be hard pressed to say which was which. They both have little cupid’s bow lips and rosy red cheeks. And from this vantage, it looks like Lancelot’s got bigger breasts.


*Avenue Q is right as always: “The Internet is for Porn.”
**You can see this and other images from the British Library’s collection of manuscripts by going to this site. Canny readers will notice that I have pirated this picture and removed the BL’s annoying watermark through clever cropping. I do not respect copyrights on images that are over seven hundred years old, give or take a decade.
***Also, those Meddling Kids, Aggravain and Mordred, and a pup named Scooby Doo.

Comments on this entry are closed.

  • Matthew Gabriele

    Wait a minute here, don’t be horning in on our territory.

    You might have medieval porn but Modern Medieval is the home of the real medieval pornstars. (Also, for some reason, we get hits for “pornstars in RI”)

  • LLCoolCarlIII

    Wow. You’re on the top page for medieval pornstars, where my frustrated pornseeking readers used to have to click through to at least the third or fourth page for Got Medieval.

  • Pacifist Viking

    I once blogged about Peter Schaffer’s play “Equus,” and now people frequently get to my site by searching for naked horseback riding. I really have no further comment on that.

  • Henitsirk

    Came here via Unlocked Wordhoard, via God knows what…

    I give Guenevere extra points for doing it with her hair in a crispinette. And Lancelot’s man-boobs are just…manly pecs, right?

  • The Magnetic Crow

    Wow, now you’re pulling official illustrations, and ignoring the debauchery in the marginalia.
    I’d have to ask him where he found it, but my art history teacher freshman year of college had one slide depicting a man with an erection visible through his clothing, and a young lady with her hand resting upon it. All I remember is that it was from a day book, illuminated by a monk.
    Needless to say, my teacher was extremely proud of the image.

  • ChaosKnight

    I was actually looking for some women in a shining armor getting pounded by steel hard swords, if y’know what I mean..

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